A Godly Wife, part 3

Today we turn to the third aspect of what it means to be a Godly wife, as defined by the Scriptures. For the Word of God is indeed our only sole authority by which we seek to tune our lives so as to please and bring honor and glory to the Lord Jesus Christ.

We have seen two aspects of what it means to be a Godly wife as defined in the Scriptures and today we turn to the third.

I. A Godly Wife Practices Submission
II. A Godly Wife Is A Suitable Helper
III. A Godly Wife Is Selflessly Reverent

Our third characteristic of what it means to be a Godly wife is that she must be selflessly reverent.

Ephesians 5:33 33 Nevertheless let each individual among you also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see to it that she respect (Greek, phobeo) her husband.

What does this mean? By being "selflessly reverent," I mean that she fears her husband. The Greek word, phobeo literally means "to fear, to be afraid." But of course from the context we know that Paul is not commanding wives to be "afraid" of their husbands, but rather to have a reverential fear and respect for them. It is NOT in a sense of a scared fear, or a horror fear, but rather a Godly fear.

A Godly fear here in this context is one that the wife is to practice by honoring him, preferring him, venerating him, esteeming him, praising him, loving him unconditionally, unilaterally and unequivocally, and admiring him exceedingly.

Ah, but I hear some women who may respond by saying, "If I did this, it will feed his male ego – he will then be an impossible man to live with." Rather, the wife may say, "Let me remind him of all the wrongs he has done, so that I can keep him on track and keep him sober."

It must be said here with absolute clarity that the Bible says otherwise. The Bible says, when the wife loves and admires the husband, then it has the opposite effect, then the husband will realize how much he DOES NOT DESERVE THIS.

Take 1 Peter 3:1-4 to heart: In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, 2 as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. 3 And let not your adornment be merely external-- braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; 4 but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.

The wife is to “hold him in the highest esteem within her heart and mind. This is how she is to be selflessly reverent to her husband. Wives must respect their husbands and not seek to revamp everything they do. No one will biblically love someone until they first respect them. You must begin with respecting your husband before you can be totally devoted to loving your husband in a way that gives all of yourself to him.

However, this text in Eph 5 does NOT mean a few things, read it again:

Ephesians 5:33 33 Nevertheless let each individual among you also love his own wife even as himself; and let the wife see to it that she respect her husband.

The wife respects her husband and submits to him, yet she recognizes that she is NOT his personal Holy Spirit. It is NOT her duty to point out every single problem to her husband "so that" he will change. She must let the Holy Spirit to His work. It is the wife's duty to revere him and not to revamp him.

Listen to this. When the wife makes a willful choice in her mind NOT to reverence her husband, then tension will grow, then destruction/deterioration of her love for him will cease, and then discouragement will come, then depression will come and then a general hindering of GodÂ’s work in their lives will come. Notice this domino effect. However, on the other hand, when she fears him and loves and respects him, then it causes him to really want to care for her. Rather than an adversarial relationship, he notices a radical change in her relationship towards him.

So, wives, may I urge you to seek to biblicalimplementent these three qualities that are biblically mandated into your lives in relation to your husbands:

I. A Godly Wife Practices Submission
II. A Godly Wife Is A Suitable Helper
III. A Godly Wife Is Selflessly Reverent