A Godly Wife, part 1

A few weeks ago, I did a three part series on what it is to be "A Godly Husband" biblically. I discussed three things that a husband is commanded to do in a marriage. He is to first be a Learner (of his wife); second, he is to be a Lover (of his wife); and third, he is to be a Leader (for his wife).

It is amazing to me (and I'm not even married yet) to realize how common it is (unfortunately) that there are so many wives that are discontent with their marriages, with their husbands, with their sex lives or whatever. May we remember that the very first marriage in the Bible, Adam and Eve, they didn't have any choice as to whom they would marry, especially Adam. And listen, God NEVER makes mistakes. He never has and he never will and sure won't begin with YOUR relationship.

As we begin this three part series on what it means to be a Godly wife, I want to encourage YOU with one thing, the question is NOT who am I married to, but am I going to be a Godly husband/wife to the person I am married to? That is the question we must all answer in our own soul/spirit.

So, the first essential characteristic of being a Godly Wife is that she practices submission.

I. A Godly Wife Practices Submission.

Ephesians 5:22-24 22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body. 24 But as the church is subject to Christ, so also the wives ought to be to their husbands in everything.

1 Peter 3:1 In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives,

Here I am with the very first characteristic of what it means to be a Godly wife biblically going completely against the grain of culture. I am speaking in terms that are completely foreign to our society. Women's egalitarian rights advocates would not be happy with these words. Yet the idea of the woman being submissive to the man in the marriage is completely biblical. To do anything otherwise is sin. Period.

Let me prove this. The phrase "be subject" (in Eph 5:22 and 24) is the same Greek word (hupotasso) as "be submissive" in 1 Pet 3:1. hupotasso means "to submit." It doesn't mean that someone is inferior, or less important, or of no intrinsic value. Rather, it does mean that the wife is to place herself UNDER the authority of the husband in ALL THINGS.

Before I give some examples on what being submissive does mean, let me explain what being submissive does NOT mean:
1. It does not mean inequality
2. It does not mean infallibility (of the husband)
3. It does not mean immobility (of the wife)
4. It does not mean inarticulation (of the wife)
5. It does not mean intellectual stagnation
6. It does not mean influence is impossible

But here is what being "Subject" or "Submissive" DOES mean:

1. It is a divine plan of function and order. The wife is to be one who is willing to submit and place herself under her husband because this is the divine plan for marriage. This is the divine order for which the marital covenantal bond was made.

2. It is a way of life for every single believer (both man and woman). Every single believer has to submit (hupotasso) him/herself to the parents while growing up, to the leadership of the church, to the government, etc. Every believer has to be submissive to authorities which are ultimately in place because God has willed it (1 Pet 2, Rom 13, 1 Tim 2).

3. It is a protection for the wife. The wife has freedom because she is under the protective umbrella of her husband's protective leadership. Notice that in Eph 5:22 it says that the wives are to be submissive to their husbands "as to the Lord." This phrase proves that it is a heart issue; not something that is done reluctantly, but that she would worship the Lord from the heart.

4. It is an attitude. The wife has to cognitively decide and determine to submit to her husband.

5. It is an act of the will and NOT a feeling.

6. It is the proof of her love for her husband. You don't love someone whom you don't respect. Put another way, you don't love someone until you respect them. Do YOU respect and LOVE your husband?

7. It is an all-inclusive command. Eph 5:24, "Be subject to your husbands in everything." This excludes NOTHING. The wife is to submit, honor, obey and do what her husband commands her to do in everything that is RIGHT. In other words, the ONLY time a wife is NOT to submit and obey her husband is when he commands her to do something that is against what the Scriptures teach. The wife must desire to be GODLY FIRST and then (only after this first desire), to be a GODLY WIFE second.

8. It is a proper relationship to God's authority. The issue of the wife putting others before self (in this case, her husband) is having a servant's attitude as her way of life. It is showing a proper attitude and submissiveness to God's authority.

So today we have seen the first requirement in being a Godly wife as revealed in the pages of inerrant, infallible and authoritative Scripture,

I. A Godly Wife Practices Submission.