"Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
Or...
The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
And...
Thursday night Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow."
Or how about this one...
"Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance."Be sure to proofread those bulletins now...
"Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa."
I hope this is never said of me when I'm absent from my pulpit...
"During the absence of our Pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit."
One more...
"Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals."