8 Reasons To Pursue ACBC Certification.

PURSUING ACBC CERTIFICATION

Be a trained, certified biblical counselor with ACBC, The Association of Certified Biblical Counselors.

 

 
8 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD PURSUE IT.


1. PERSONAL GROWTH AND KNOWLEDGE
As you work through the required steps toward ACBC certification you will understand more of God’s Word and increase your knowledge of God, of Christ, of the gospel, and how it specifically applies to everyday situations of life. The studies for the exams and the preparation for the counseling sessions will all drive you to a humble dependence on God and a desperate longing for His grace as you seek to minister the Word to hurting saints.

2. DISCIPLINE AND ACCOUNTABILITY
A wonderful result of pursuing the ACBC certification process is personal discipline. The phases of certification are intense and quite involved. They require time, planning, diligence, study, prayer, and thought. It will teach you and hone personal discipline as you prioritize the time for study and writing. It also will develop accountability and foster close relationships as you walk through it with others in your local church who wish to serve the Lord in biblical counseling.

3. BLESSING TO THE CHURCH
Being certified as an ACBC biblical counselor will greatly bless your local church. It will allow the church to send individuals your way who are current members of the church and need guidance, direction, counsel and help. It will greatly bless the church as those in the community reach out and need help with the many struggles of life. As you pursue counseling, you will find it to be a rich occasion for evangelism of the lost and a glorious encouragement as you meet with the saints and minister the Word to them in the context of your church.

4. GREAT DEARTH OF BIBLICAL COUNSELORS
Tragically, many churches view counseling as belonging to the “professionals” and the clinically trained. Many pastors and church leaders refer hurting people to Christian counseling centers or, worse, secular counseling. There exists a great need for biblical counselors who stand on the all-sufficient Word of God, in the context of the local church, depending on prayer and the power of the Spirit, who believe that Christ’s gospel has the power to transform hearts and lives for His own glory!

5. SEE LIVES CHANGED
The Spirit of God has the power to save sinners and also to sanctify God’s people. He exposes sin, brings conviction, and enables biblical change that honors Christ because of His indwelling and glorious ministry of sanctification. As you meet with individuals for biblical counseling, you will have the immense joy of seeing God at work in changing men and women for His glory. You will see marriages restored, sins defeated, struggles endured, and joy abounding as God’s people see how the Bible provides the rich and sufficient guidance they need to help them through the issues of life. What a joy to minister God’s Word to the hearts of God’s people and witness the Spirit of God at work in conforming them more into the image of Jesus Christ.  

6. A TOOL IN GOD’S HAND TO MINISTER TO HURTING SAINTS
One of the joys of biblical counseling (among many!) is when you are an instrument in the hand of God to help hurting souls. Your training and biblical knowledge, coupled together with your compassion and patient humility, powerfully serves men and women of all walks of life as they persevere through various trials of life in a way that honors Christ and obeys His Word. To walk alongside of people through this journey and see the hurting saints full of joy will enflame your heart with gladness in God and gratitude for what He’s done. Ponder how God may use you in a sharp instrument - honed, trained, chiseled, skilled, faithful - in ministering the Word to others for their greater sanctification.

7. THE PROCESS OF CERTIFICATION — ESPECIALLY PHASE 3
The entire process of certification is carefully designed to aid you in the equipping to be a skilled biblical counselor. But, in particular, phase 3 is one of the most profitable. This phase, the last of the preparatory steps, consists in you counseling individuals while being supervised by an ACBC “fellow” (a supervisor, a seasoned biblical counselor) who will meet with you and help you along as you counsel folks. This input is extremely valuable and practical. I found it to be the best part of my certification process. It helped me take many of the principles I had learned and been taught in the classroom and my ACBC fellow carefully, patiently, and specifically helped me implement these points in the counseling room so that I could minister the Word of God in the most effective way to my counselees.

8. THE HOPE OF HAVING A CFBC COUNSELING CENTER
One prayer that we have offered to God many times is that God would be pleased to raise up a solid biblical counseling center in St Louis. Think of having a biblical counseling center where there are trained, certified, skilled, and mature counselors who believe in the all-sufficiency of the Word of God, and who counsel under the authority of a local church, and who are available to minister to hurting people in the church, in the community, online, and through referrals.  Everyone is either hurting themselves or knows people who are hurting. Biblical counseling can be great evangelism opportunities (for unbelievers) and wonderful occasions to counsel the all-sufficient Word to believers who need help and guidance in life’s journey. ACBC will aid you and prepare you to be part of this team that we pray that God may raise up in the St Louis area in the future.

Podcasts on Biblical Counseling  |  HERE

Biblical Counseling at Christ Fellowship Bible Church  |  INFO

Class Notes on "Biblical Counseling"  |  HERE

Read More

Older Saints Serving In The Church!

WHAT CAN THE ELDERLY/OLD FOLKS DO AT THE CHURCH?   How can the aging, the older, the senior saints do in the congregation?   

Here are some real practical "ministry-ideas of service" for you to consider:

• You could open your home periodically for a young couple/college students/other members for a home-cooked meal & a time of fellowship.
• You could write personal letters/encouragement/thank you cards to folks/families in the church.
• You could personally write and keep contact with your missionaries.You could open your home and have a weekly/bi-weekly prayer meeting for the church members.
• You could go online & take free courses on biblical counseling so as to be trained and equipped in God's Word to address any issue of life with the Bible.
• You could make a weekly phone call to each of the women & mothers at the church to encourage them, strengthen them, pray with them, share a verse with them, and ask how you can pray for them this week.
• As you are exercising and walking you could take a handful of tracts and hand them out to folks, put them on car-doors and 'evangelize'.
• You could get a stack of books on various topics about God, Christ, the Spirit, salvation, holy living, end-times, pastoral ministry, and read them all and then pass them on to others.
• You could arrive early at your church each Sunday and be a greeter and warmly welcome every person that comes into this building with a smile!
• You could be a prayer warrior - 1 hour in the morning for the preacher’s sermon preparation; 1 hour in the afternoon for the members of the church; 1 hour each evening for the gospel growth, revival, conversions, maturing of saints.

Isaiah 46:4 -- Even to your old age I will be the same, And even to your graying years I will bear you! I have done it, and I will carry you; And I will bear you and I will deliver you.
 

Dear older precious saints, Spurgeon preaches:

    “Do not let the young people catch you indulging in melancholy [depression], sitting in your chimney corner, grumbling and growling, but go about cheerful and happy, and they will think ‘how blessed it is to be a Christian’ [when they observe you!]...
    If you are surly [grouchy, crabby] and fretful, they will think the Lord has forsaken you; but keep a smiling countenance, and they will think God’s promise is fulfilled.
    You can lead us to heaven if you have got heaven's sunlight on your face; but you will not lead us at all if you are snappy and ill-tempered, for then we shall not care about your company.
    Make yourselves cheerful with the people of God, and try to live happily before men; for so will you prove to us—to a demonstration, that even to old age God is with you, and that when your strength faileth, he is still your preservation.”

   

 So then, Precious Aged saints: what a model to follow! We need you!

Read More

Some Parenting Encouragements

 Here is a compilation of parenting quotes for a project I've worked on. 

May these encourage all parents to remain vigilant and faithful in praying to God for the souls of our children and doing all we can to point them to Christ each day with gospel-proclamation supported by a holy and humble lifestyle. 

 

SOME PARENTING ENCOURAGEMENTS --

We have failed to understand that children and young people are not God-lovers until the Spirit changes them. They are dead to God. Our attempts at getting these young people to “pray the prayer” when they were small have not necessarily made them children of God. Their behavior belies the true state of their hearts. God has said that the only hope for them, therefore, is the regenerating work of the Spirit in the context of the preaching of the Word (James 1:18). However, our inadequate view of depravity and the inability of man has led us to resort instead to a greater confidence in entertainment to reach them and a minimizing of the use of the Word. If God has ordained that the Word and the Spirit are the only hope for these kids, then we should not avoid the means God has promised to bless.
    (Jim Elliff)

Children need to be saved and may be saved.  The conversion of a child involves the same work of divine grace and results in the same blessed consequences as the conversion of the adult.  But there is this additional matter for joy, that a great preventive work is done when the young are converted.  Conversion saves a child from a multitude of sins.  If God’s mercy shall bless your teaching to a little prattler, how happy that boy’s life will be compared with what it might have been if it had grown up in folly, sin, and shame, and only been converted after many days!  It is the highest wisdom to pray for our children that while they are young their hearts may be given to the Savior.
    (Charles Spurgeon)

Let’s rethink this matter of getting your children saved.  Perhaps one of the problems with this perspective is that it looks for a major spiritual event of salvation and misses the spiritual process of nurturing your children.  It is your task to faithfully teach them the ways of God.  It is the Holy Spirit’s task to work through the Word of God to change their hearts.  Even when the Spirit illuminates and quickens them to life, it is a life of progressive growth.
    (Tedd Tripp)

Godly parents cannot convert their children.  God alone can do this.  But they can lead them to Jesus, and bring them up in the fear of the Lord.  And when they have done this, they have done all they can do; for the Holy Spirit alone can change the heart.  They must be born again.  Christ has said it.  It is not a change of sentiment, nor an outward reformation of life; it is a new heart implanted by the Holy Spirit.
    (Mary Winslow)

“in every moment when you are parenting, you are being parented. In every moment when you are called to give grace, you are being given grace. In every moment when you are rescuing and protecting your children, you are being rescued and protected. In every moment when you feel alone, you are anything but alone because he goes wherever you go.”
    (Paul Tripp)

“So your hope as a parent is not found in your power, your wisdom, your character, your experience, or your success, but in this one thing alone: the presence of your Lord. The Creator, Savior, Almighty, Sovereign King is with you. Let your heart rest. You are not in this parenting drama alone. Your potential is greater than the size of your weaknesses, because the One who is without weakness is with you, and he does his best work through those who admit that they are weak but in weakness still heed his call.”
    (Paul Tripp)

More Parenting Resources can be found at the PODCAST page.

Read More

The Office of Overseer in the Church

The Office of Overseer in the Church

Geoffrey R. Kirkland 

  

First Timothy 3:1 gives a simple statement regarding key ingredients of the office of overseer in the local church.  Here are a few of the key takeaways from the verse. 

 

Read More

College Student: 5 Thoughts On How To Use Your Summer

STUDENT:  HOW TO USE YOUR SUMMER 

Geoffrey R. Kirkland

Pastor, Christ Fellowship Bible Church 

Sermons  |  Podcasts  |  Articles

 

Student: here is some pastoral counsel from me to you. Let these *articles of advice* get you thinking about how you can spend your summer so you don’t waste it, but use it well for God’s glory. 

5 articles of advice:

1. Rest But Stay Diligent 

Whether you stay around your campus for summer work or if you travel home (or somewhere else), make it your aim to rest and enjoy summertime while at the same time diligently doing what God has called you to do — work!  Aim to do all that you do for God’s glory, while at home, with friends, on the job, or traveling. So then: work, sleep, enjoy the summer but don’t fall into laziness. Have fun and engage with friends but don’t sit in front of the TV all day. Don’t binge watch movies all day. Don’t waste the precious gift of time God has given you. Be diligent. Have a plan. Be thoughtful. Have a schedule. Plan and prepare and implement. The key is to not be passive, a time-waster, and idle. 

2. Read, Memorize and Learn.

Make it your daily resolve to wake up and start your day reading God’s Word and in prayer. Don’t sleep the day away and neglect God’s Word. In fact, make it your aim to memorize a favorite psalm (e.g., Psalm 32, 63, 95, 103, 145) or another portion of Scripture (e.g., Ephesians 2; Philippians 3; James 1, etc). Further: pick a good book and read it carefully, thoughtfully and engagingly during the summer to sharpen your theological understanding. You might want to read Kevin DeYoung: “Just Do Something” or Mark Dever: “9 Marks of a Healthy Church” or Paul Tripp: “Instruments in the Redeemer’s Hands” or Paul Washer: “The Gospel’s Power and Message”. 

3. Re-gather, Serve & Linger Long with Saints. 

This Sunday, like this week, make it your goal to attend worship with the saints. In fact, I encourage you to not go only to the late service (and please don’t show up late to that!), but get there early, ask how you can serve, hand out bulletins, greet folks, help set up chairs, do sound, sit close and take notes!  And, I challenge you, make it your aim to find a godly, older couple in your local church and spend time with them. Ask if you can treat them to a cup of coffee (after church or another time that’s most convenient). Or ask if you can come to their home and bring a meal to get to know them. Attend. Serve. Give. Employ your gifts. Learn from and linger with saints who have walked the journey and who are still walking closely with Jesus.

4. Fight for Purity. Slay the Beginnings of Temptation. Enjoy Christ.

Kill sexual sin! You will be tempted. Count on it. Get a battle plan. Have a fighter verse (Psalm 119:9, 105; Job 31:1; 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8; Psalm 16:11) to help you so you can run there in a moment of temptation (on the screen, in person, at the gym, or wherever). Remember that sin is always full of lies and sin is always bad. Always. Sin makes promises but never delivers. Sin, like a rose, may look and smell enticing but you grab it with your hands and the thorns prick you. If you need guidance in this, read Proverbs 5-7 often (even daily!) and remember that Christ is infinitely greater, better, purer, sweeter, and more satisfying than any promise immorality could ever make! Choke sexual sin. Starve it. Don’t feed it. Run to Scripture, to Christ, to Truth, to the Gospel!

5. Engage in Some Evangelistic Outing With Other Believers. 

I bet someone from your church would love to join you for an evangelism outing this summer.  Grab some New Testaments, or some gospel tracts, and your Bible and go to a busy plaza where people gather. Or, go out on the 4th of July to a downtown gathering where lots of people will congregate. Go to a local Memorial Day parade. Offer people gospel tracts. Do so with a smile. Ask people if they have the assurance of eternal life when they die — and be ready and prepared to engage them in gospel conversation and proclaim God’s gospel to them. Watch and see how going out and “fishing for souls” will enliven and invigorate your heart and the hearts of other believers who go out with you. If you’re not sure where to go, or who to do it with, reach out to your pastor and he would love to help you. 

Eccl. 12:1, 13-14 —  Remember also your Creator in the days of your youth, before the evil days come and the years draw near when you will say, “I have no delight in them” ...  The conclusion, when all has been heard, is: fear God and keep His commandments, because this applies to every person. For God will bring every act to judgment, everything which is hidden, whether it is good or evil.

Read More

The Pastor's *Primary* Responsibilities

 

The Pastor’s Primary Responsibilities
Geoffrey R. Kirkland
Christ Fellowship Bible Church

In this brief essay, I will set before you three primary responsibilities of every pastor.

Intercede for God’s Flock
Pray
To neglect to pray is to neglect the power source in a pastor’s ministry. For a minister to engage in many duties in his church and yet omit the regular practice of prayer demonstrates that he has no understanding of nor does he have any conviction of the importance of the ministry, his helplessless in the ministry, his humility in the ministry and God’s sovereignty over his ministry. A pastor must pray. A shepherd must intercede for God’s flock. Every Christian is a sheep that belongs to God and God has stated that every sheep in the fold belongs to Him. And God has entrusted His own blood-bought sheep to the care of His undershepherds — pastors. To lead is to model. And there is no greater way that a pastor can model Christlikeness for his flock than to show them how to pray; that is, to model a life of prayer for them. It is insufficient for a pastor to say his ‘prayers’. The common statistic that the average pastor prays less than 10 minutes a day cannot describe a man who is radically in love with Christ, desperately in need of His power, and singularly awed by the gospel of sovereign grace. No one must coerce the pastor to pray. No one must check in to certify that the minister is on his knees. The godly minister has callouses on his knees that no one ever sees. He spends time with his God alone in the early morning when many people lay still on their beds. The minister has an overwhelming amount of items for which he can pray. He certainly longs to worship God in prayer: to adore Him, to bless Him, to ascribe glory and power to Him. The minister confesses his own sin to God. He repents of his sin to God. He begs for God to examine him and show him in the inner recesses of his heart and mind and motivations so that he will be spotless, blameless, and above reproach. The shepherd must pray for his flock by name. He must know them. He must bring them before the throne of God. Jesus prayed for His flock, so should every godly minister. The exemplary leader must take hold of God in prayer, giving him no rest, until God blesses the ministry, the preaching, the shepherding, the counseling, the discipling, the evangelizing, and the fellowship. Indeed, a teaching pastor must pray throughout the week and wrestle with God in prayer to come with power upon the preached Word. He must pray for the anointing of the Spirit. He must pray for the unction of the Spirit. He must seek the face of God throughout his days of studying, discipling, mentoring, resting. The godly pastor communes with God regularly. He prays urgently, passionately, warmly, daily, and believingly. Christ modeled a prayer life, so should pastors.


Feed God’s Flock
Preach
The Lord Jesus told Peter no less than three times to shepherd and tend His flock. A primary responsibility of a shepherd is to feed the sheep. If he has everything in the world and yet he fails to feed the sheep, eventually they will starve and die. The pastor is called to tend God’s flock. The sheep do not belong to the pastor; they’re God’s. And God demands that the man of God ‘preach the Word’ in season and out of season. Even when masses turn away to what their itching ears desire and turn aside from the truth, the man of God must be faithful to fulfill his calling and teach with all authority. To feed is to provide sustenance. A shepherd can feed the sheep poisonous food but the sheep will most certainly die. The shepherd can feed the flock food lacking nutrition and the sheep will be malnourished, unhealthy and they soon will become sick and eventually they will die. So it is with a pastor. A pastor is to teach and preach. He must feed God’s flock. He must feed them the Word of God, the full counsel of God, biblical theology, and the unashamed, unflinching, unrestrained truth of Scripture. He must preach the Bible. This is what expository preaching means. The man of God expounds the meaning of the Word of God so that the people of God understand what God says in God’s Word and how their lives must be affected because of it. The pastor must study to show himself approved so he feeds the flock of God with the food of God as it rightly comes out of the Word of God so they can live lives to the glory of God.


Tend God’s Flock
Pastor
The man of God must care for souls. To pastor is to conduct soul-care. To care rightly for God’s people, one must tend the flock with regularity and with compassion. The pastor is just called to do that, pastor the flock. Shepherds live with the flock, they care for the flock, they nurture the flock, they love the flock, they live with the flock, they ward off predators who could harm the flock, they know the flock by name and see them frequently. The pastor should live similarly among God’s people. He should live and conduct himself among and with the flock. He must know the flock. He must enter their homes to visit the flock. He must avail himself to the flock for counseling, for wisdom, for prayer, and for guidance. To feed is essential, but it’s not enough. Shepherds can feed the sheep, but good shepherds care for, protect, instruct in the way they should go, warn in the way they must avoid, and see how they walk. Shepherds must attend to those who are bruised and wounded. They must give must attention to the cast-down and the broken-hearted. Pastors cannot conduct this kind of soul-care only by preaching on Sunday with the flock. He must know them throughout the week. He must open the Word with the people with regularity. He must enter their homes and counsel them in the Word and he must open up his own home so as to model hospitality, godly living in the home, and family worship. This cuts to the core of the contemporary celebrity, traveling preacher who more often than not is away from the home, away from his flock, unable to meet with his people and thus unable to personally point them to Christ. May God’s pastors shepherd the flock of God among them. May God’s ministers teach God’s people God’s Word publicly and from house to house. If a pastor neglects this ministry, then he no longer is qualified to be called a ‘pastor.’ He may be a teacher, and he may be an expositor, but if he is not with his people then he cannot honestly be called a pastor of souls. He is to model for the flock Christlikeness. He is to point them to incessant and specific lives of prayer and communion with God. He is to instruct them in family worship, in godly living in the home, in marital unity, in parental duties, in the mortification of sin, and in the zealous pursuit of holiness. He should strive to win souls through fervent evangelism and model for the flock a compassionate heart for the lost. May God equip such men to fulfill their duties as pastors so as to glorify God by caring for His flock and serving them with God’s strength.

Read More

Don't Dispute About Your Election. Repent & Believe!

 

From Joseph Alleine:

"Do not stand still disputing about your election, but set to repenting and believing. Cry to God for converting grace. Revealed things belong to you; in these busy yourself.... Whatever God's purposes may be, I am sure His promises are true. Whatever the decrees of heaven may be, I am sure if I repent and believe I shall be saved."

Read More

4 Safe-Guards to Win the Battle for Sexual Purity

 

4 LIFE-SAVING SAFE-GUARDS FOR YOU TO WIN THE BATTLE FOR PURITY 

Geoffrey R. Kirkland

Pastor, Christ Fellowship Bible Church

AWARE!

You will not win the battle you find yourself unprepared for. And you surely will not prepare for battle if you stand aware that you’re in war! All Christians — and Christian men! — are in war. It is the war for sexual purity and the war for glorifying Christ and honoring Him with our sexuality. We live in a hyper-sexualized culture where intoxication with selfish sex in all of its forms bombards us, tempts us, lures us, and surrounds us. Christians must realize that you are in battle — for the glory of Christ, for the magnification of His fame. You must be aware that your enemy, Satan and his minions, wisely aims and hand-crafts temptations and fiery darts at the chinks in your armor. Be aware! You are, right now at this moment, in battle. 

PREPARE! 

So then, knowing that you are in battle is a necessary and vital first step. But you must prepare! If you go to battle unprepared, you surely cannot win. You must know your Enemy and prepare to face him. We are to prepare with prayer, with Scripture, and with protection. You must proactively prepare to face the Evil One with his tactics. You cannot go to the battle line unprepared, unprayed for, unfueled with the power of God’s Truth. Consider the devastating consequences that will surely follow if you permit sexual sin to have a place in your life. Prepare by building high and firm the battle walls with God’s Spirit and His Truth.

ARM! 

To win the battle, you must stand strong in the grace which God supplies. You must stand firm against the Devil by putting on the armor of God. You must take inventory of your life and consider your thoughts, your words, your conduct and ensure you are not deliberately or unwittingly putting yourself in temptation’s path. You should be daily in regular prayer and devotion to Christ in the reading of His Word. You should have God’s Word permeating your thoughts and spend time meditating on His Word. The best way to be armed for battle is with God’s provided armor, with His all-powerful Word consuming your thoughts. 

STAND! 

Turn away from temptation! Flee! Run! Go the other direction! You must stand strong and not give in! When the battle rages, you must run, like Joseph did. You must stand, like David did. You must rehearse Scripture, like Jesus did. Mercifully, God promises to give a way of escape. Find it and run on that path. Do not believe the alluring lies of the Devil in the moments of weakness. In the times of strength, take every precaution to prepare for the times of weakness that will come. Stand firm. Stand guarded!

 

More Resources & Podcasts HERE. 

Read More

Romans 1.1 & 1.5 & the Direction of the Minister's Work

 

Romans 1:1 and 1:5 - the direction of the minister’s work 

ROMANS 1.1 and 1.5 --

1.1 — Παῦλος δοῦλος Χριστοῦ Ἰησοῦ, κλητὸς ἀπόστολος ἀφωρισμένος εἰς εὐαγγέλιον θεοῦ, 

1.5 —  δι᾿ οὗ ἐλάβομεν χάριν καὶ ἀποστολὴν εἰς ὑπακοὴν πίστεως ἐν πᾶσιν τοῖς ἔθνεσιν ὑπὲρ τοῦ ὀνόματος αὐτοῦ.

[Author's translation:  Paul, a slave of Christ Jesus, called as an apostle, set apart unto the gospel of God, ...  (1.5) through whom we have received grace and apostleship leading unto the obedience of faith among all the Gentiles for His name's sake.]

 

 

The preposition εἰς (into) has the notion of moving into a certain direction.  It can have the indication of moving away from one thing and moving towards something else. 

As a minister of the gospel, I learn from Paul in 2 areas in these opening verses from Romans.  

Paul described himself as a slave of Christ, sovereignly called/summoned as an apostle, and then set apart unto  the gospel of God.

This describes a whole new direction of life. It speaks of a new purpose, a new mission, a new ambition, a new calling. Paul’s calling consisted of the reality that the Sovereign God, the Lord of heaven and earth had set him apart away from living life for himself (even as a Christian) and doing his own mission and he must now live for the new directional mission, the purposeful ambition, the submissive lifestyle pressing hard after and proclaiming fully the gospel of God. 

Furthermore, just a few verses later, Paul declares that he has received grace and apostleship for a specific direction and purpose: leading toward the obedience (which comes from/is sourced in) faith. Paul’s grace that he received from God and the particular calling of apostleship has a direction, a mission, a goal, a purpose. It is unto — toward the resolute-pursuing — of obedience which springs from faith. 

1. As a minister of the gospel, I derive much help and fresh insight from the careful wording of Paul’s writing here (in Rom .1), as the Spirit of God directed Him to write these particular words — even these prepositions!  My mission, like that of Paul’s, is that I am set apart in the new direction of life for the gospel of God. I don’t live for myself any longer. I don’t dictate my time, my ministry, my opportunities, my schedule, my circumstances. I am fully and wholly God’s. As a slave of Christ, as a pastor of God’s flock, as a called minister of the gospel of Jesus Christ, I have been set apart unto a resolute, vibrant, consuming, glorious, God-given purpose to advance the gospel of God. 

2.  Additionally, a lesson I glean from this (in Rom 1.5) comes from the reality that God’s grace in the gospel as it works in my own life must lead unto the obedience springing from faith. God wants obedience. He wants heartfelt allegiance. He wants submission. He must take the place of Lord and be sovereign over one’s heart and life. I serve as an under shepherd, caring for God’s people, with the goal of leading them unto (in the direction of) obedience which springs from (saving) faith. 

May God help us as ministers to remain faithful to this calling as ministers of the gospel as we learn from Paul.

Read More

Spanking, part 6: The PARENT'S ROLE in Spanking

 THE PARENT'S ROLE IN SPANKING

Geoffrey R. Kirkland

Proverbs 25:15 states that a soft answer breaks the bone.  Proverbs 15:1 affirms that a gentle answer turns away wrath. Proverbs 23:26 is the heart of every parent to the child as it says: “Give me your heart my son, and let your eyes delight in my ways.”  

These verses provide much-needed guidance for parents who must obey the Lord and discipline wayward children. Knowing that parents must spank but also knowing and learning how to to spank appropriately and with gospel-grace, parents have an important part as well in this discipline process.  Parents cannot be given to anger because the one who is quick-tempered exalts folly (Proverbs 14:29). Parents must discipline with a calm demeanor. Parents cannot go into the room to discipline the child while seething with rage or furious because of something that happened. It may behoove the parent to take a few minutes quietly to repent of his own selfish and sinful response, to confess his own anger, to come before the Lord humbly, and then approach the child calmly, lovingly, and caringly in the act of discipline. Yes, parental discipline can be both firm and tender at the same time. It can be compassionate and discipline must be consistent when sin has occurred.

What is the parent to do? What does the Bible say regarding guidelines for parents in the discipline act?

Parents must diligently bring up the children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. This means that the primary responsibility of maturing and growing and aiding the child in seeing & forsaking his sin rests upon the parent. With prayerful dependence on God the Spirit while utilizing the all powerful and heart-searching Word of God, the parent knows that he must diligently bring up the children in the ways of God. He cannot be passive nor can he just let things happen. A parent cannot think that the child will just figure it out. Worse, a parent cannot think that the child can just follow his heart and all will be well.

Furthermore, parents must recognize the need to both discipline (the rod) and verbally reprove the child (reproof). Both must occur as the child grows and ages. As the child ages and increases in the capacity to communicate and respond to the parent’s heart-probing questions, open ended questions should regularly engage the child’s heart.

Proverbs 18:4 says that words of a man’s mouth are like deep waters.  Furthermore, Proverbs 20:5 states that a plan in the heart of man is like deep water, but a man of understanding draws it out. Faithful parenting is not about external or behavioral change alone. Though parents wish to see behavior change, godly parents recognize that the root of behavior is the heart, the desires, the cravings, the longings. Wise parents will strive to ask questions that probe the heart so as to understand what the child wants so he can counsel the child appropriately so that the heart sin can be exposed and the gospel grace can be expounded.


Ultimately, parenting is an act of faith. It is a rescue mission. It is a marvelous opportunity for parents to obey God, love the children, evangelize their hearts, expose the sin biblically, and summon them to Christ through repentance and faith in God’s grace.  Parents do well to remember the words of Proverbs 14:26 which affirms that in the fear of the LORD there is strong confidence, and his children will have refuge.

Read More

Spanking, part 5: The WHAT & HOW of Spanking

THE WHAT & WHY OF SPANKING

Geoffrey R. Kirkland

Christ Fellowship Bible Church 

Picture it: a mom or a dad is with the small child in that room, rod in hand, child on the lap, and discipline must occur because the child has sinned against God. What should the parent do, then? What is to be said? What is to be done? Perhaps the parent thinks: “I’ve never seen this done before” or “no one taught me how to do this.”

This essay provides a handful of helpful tips for parents to consider as a template for the biblical process of discipline.

1. Gather the facts. Ask the child: “what happened?” In this beginning step, you as the parent seek to hear the child portray what happened (if the child is old enough to do so). Seek to hear him describe the situation.

2. Reach the heart. Since the goal of discipline is not merely behavioral management but seeking to get at the heart, parents should ask: “how did you respond?” “When ___ happened, why did you do that?” “When he said that, why did you say what you said?” Or, “Why did you do what you did?” “What were you wanting?” “What would have made you happy in that moment?” You see, the way your child answers reveals his heart (motives, purposes, thoughts, intentions, ruling and dominating desires). Don’t just say: “stop screaming!” Rather, “why did you react that way?” Reach the heart.

3. Expose the sin. Then, when the heart is revealed and the real purposes are uncovered, you are to expose the sin biblically. The sin isn’t merely hitting his sister. Perhaps it’s selfishness in the heart that wants to play ‘god’ by being in control of his life and his possessions. Speak to the root issue. Unveil the sin. Expose it. Clearly, simply, tenderly, but firmly.

4. Prove it biblically. When that sin is exposed, the parent ideally should open a Bible and show the child in the text of God’s Word where they sinned against God. The goal of this is to show them (time and time again) that the point is not that they’ve sinned against you. Rather, the sin is that they’ve sinned against God and have broken His Law and that’s why discipline must occur. Again, prove to the child they sinned ultimately and foremost against God!

5. Give the discipline. After the sin is exposed and the Scripture has been read, the parent should firmly and yet tenderly give the discipline. The rod must be used. The goal is for the child to feel the pain as a consequence of this sin. It is to drive out foolishness in his heart and show your child that sin brings pain. For indeed, if they do not repent and trust in Christ alone, their sin will bring everlasting pain under the hand of God in hell. So discipline is seeking to drive your child to make the connection between sin and its consequence of pain. And that is to drive them to Christ as you verbalize the gospel. The rod should be used firmly, on the rear end so that it’s not visible to others. Proper use of the rod should not leave bruising. Parents should not discipline with the hand because a child should never grow up to associate a parent’s hand with pain. The hand of the parent should always be a comforting, loving, providing, and protecting hand. The rod, however, should be something the parent uses while calm and never angry. So, use the rod firmly, swiftly, carefully, and always in private -- never in public. Always inflict the rod on the child’s rear end with firmness, compassion, tenderness, and shrouded with love.

6. Express tender love. Immediately when the corporal punishment is finished, you as the parent should scoop up the child in his arms or on his lap and express how much you love your child. This affirms to the little one that his parents are not just angry, mad, mean, and violent. But it shows them that you have disciplined them because you love them so very much. Verbalize this to them with the words: “I love you very much.”

7. Give the gospel. Now the greatest opportunities exist for presenting Christ and His gospel. When your child has sinned, you’ve brought the discipline, and expressed your genuine love for them, you must lead them to Calvary and show them their sin before God, God’s anger over sin, and God’s solution for man’s need in the person of Jesus Christ. You might say: “Do you know why I’ve done this? It’s because God is perfect and we are not. And sin deserves God’s punishment. But God sent Jesus…” Keep it simple. Don’t get too theologically verbose with jargon. Explain how God has given one door to heaven, one way to escape eternal ‘discipline’ and that is through faith alone in Jesus Christ. Call your children to repent of their sin (turn) and to believe in Jesus Christ alone (trust). Do this often, regularly, daily, diligently, patiently, winsomely, and persuasively. Don’t just rehash the same words time and time again. Vary the gospel call! Use different Scriptures! Show them different facets of Christ and His redemptive glories and unspeakable beauties. But parent, whatever you do: give them the gospel! Lead them to Christ. Do it every time. Whenever you discipline, lead them to the only One who can deliver their soul from God’s eternal punishment: the Lord Jesus Christ and His redemption. Be careful not to give your children assurance too young or too quickly if they merely ‘profess faith’ in Jesus Christ. Be happy and express excitement over their desire to follow Jesus. But affirm them in their desire and explain to them that over time their faith will show itself to be real or not. But encourage them along the way to pursue Christ!

8. Pray with them. When all is done, while still holding and loving your child, pray with them. Bring God into the event (again)! You want your child to leave the discipline room remembering that mommy or daddy disciplined me (and, yes, it may have hurt) but they also prayed with me and for me. You want to pray that God would do the great soul-work, redemptive work, regenerating work for His glory, for your child’s eternal welfare, and for the good of your family. So you pray for your child and then you hug them, move on, and don’t keep a record of their sins.

Quite simply, in sum, godly parents must aim to do all things in faithful love, they must seek to open the Bible and give truth to show the child where they transgressed God’s Word. The parent must take this as an opportunity to give the gospel message and then summon the child to turn from the wicked ways of self-trust and fly to Christ by a surrendering faith and whole confidence.

May this serve as a helpful template, or a pattern, or an overview of what parents can do in the discipline room with their children as you seek to honor God in the faithful discipling and disciplining of your children. May God use the rod to drive out foolishness from our children and through our faithful evangelization may God redeem them from His eternal punishment in hell and may He bring them safely and gloriously into His heavenly Kingdom! May God use parents and their faithful and diligent proclamation of the gospel as the means to convert the children!

 

The next topic:  The PARENT in spanking

Read More

SPANKING, part 4: The WHY of Spanking

 THE WHY OF SPANKING

Geoffrey R. Kirkland

Christ Fellowship Bible Church

The question inevitably comes up from parents who love their children and wonder how spanking can be helpful and beneficial for the children.  Why would a loving parent inflict pain to the children?  Won’t this hurt and harm them?  Won’t they become abusive when they grow older or view spanking as abuse that they have received?  What if someone had a very bad experience growing up with spanking from angry parents who angrily disciplined?  Many questions such as these often arise.  

At this point, I must clearly affirm the reality that God’s Word must remain the authority for Godly fathers and mothers.  Past experiences, however good or bad they may have been, cannot sway how we view or interpret God’s Word or whether we choose to obey what God calls us to. Our own feelings in the moment of what we think is or is not best for our children should be subservient to the clear and authoritative Word of God on every issue — including spanking.

So, why does God command parents who love their children to spank them?

First, parents must spank their children out of obedience to God. The parental act of spanking disobedient children begins with the heart of the parent that resolves to walk in obedience to God and in submission to His Word. God calls parents to obey even when it is hard. And when a parent knows that the child has sinned against God, must be reproved by Scripture, must be warned of sinful actions, and summoned to trust in Christ alone and he still chooses to spank the child, he is walking in obedience to God and His Word.  

Second, parents must spank their children to rescue their souls from death. Parents must spank the children and “rescue his soul from death” (Proverbs 23:14). Ultimately, spanking is a “rescue mission.” It is an act of diligent faith in God in prayerful hopes that God will rescue the child from sin, from himself, and from hell.

Third, parents must spank their children out of trust in God. Believers walk by faith, not by sight. Godly parents know that even when culture ridicules such actions and scathes such discipline as being “hurtful” and “harmful,” the Christian knows that true joy and blessing comes in walking obediently to God. Proverbs 29:15 says that the rod and reproof give wisdom. Part of implementing the rod is trusting that with proper instruction, reproof, and gospel warnings and invitations, it will give wisdom to the child.

Fourth, parents must spank their children in order to teach obedience. Young people are automatically hard-wired to be lovers of self. Children are “selfoholics.”  It is the rod which God has designed to show the error and folly of self-love, self-autonomy, and self-independence. From the youngest of ages, boys and girls must learn to obey authority. And God Himself is the ultimate authority. Spanking teaches the children the folly of rejecting God’s authority for them in their lives (e.g., a parent, etc.) and instead choosing to follow their own hearts. Parents must seek to also teach their children to be good citizens in society. To do this, children must learn to obey authority and submit under those whom God has placed over them.

These are just a few reasons why it is so important and vital for parents to obey God and discipline sinning, young children with the rod.

Tomorrow's topic:  The WHAT of spanking (what do you do?)

Read More

SPANKING, part 3: The WHEN of Spanking

 THE WHEN OF SPANKING 

Geoffrey R. Kirkland

Christ Fellowship Bible Church

THE WHEN OF SPANKING


Parents should spank the children when sin has occurred.  Biblical discipline must come at the right time. When a parent spanks his child out of anger or because the parent views his rights violated, the child will be exasperated, become hardened, and he will be unsure in the future as to whether or not he’ll be disciplined for this or that action.

Proverbs 22:15 speaks of foolishness that is bound up in the heart of the child. This Hebrew word for “foolishness” carries the idea of ‘moral perversion’ and ‘lack of fear of God.’  Parents must understand the importance of spanking and undertake the diligence in using the rod when the child has sinned.

It is wise for parents to refrain from spanking the child for childishness.  If a child acts in a childish way that is not sinful, that action does not deserve a spanking (e.g., spilling the milk, performing a chore in a wrong manner). If, however, the child is given a command and the child refuses to obey, or chooses to do something else, then that child should be spanked. Quite simply: when parents spank the children, the parent should be able to open the Bible and point to chapter and verse where the child has erred in his ways against God. Ultimately, this is key. Parents must teach and show the children that they must be spanked because they have transgressed God’s Word and have disobeyed God. You do not want to teach a child that he is getting a discipline because he made dad and mom mad. Parents are not the ultimate authority (parents have derived authority from God). God is. In the discipline, the child should understand very clearly that he will receive the spanking because he acted foolishly and sinned against God.

This means that parents must KNOW THEIR BIBLES.  To biblically discipline and love the children in this God-ordained grace-act of reproving children for sin and pointing them to Christ requires parents to read, study, know, and memorize God’s Word. Parents must know when sin has occurred. Parents must realize that disobedience, a complaining heart, an unsubmissive attitude, a slanderous word against others, a quarreling spirit are sins against God. And parents should know where to go in their Bibles to show what God says about such actions.

This means that parents must PRIORITIZE THE TIME TO DISCIPLINE WHEN IT SEEMS INCONVENIENT. It can seem that children disobey at the most inconvenient times and that discipline should be given when parents are least ready or willing to give it. But this is a precious gift of God to wean parents off of themselves and it provides an occasion for the parent to die to self, love the child, obey God, and take advantage of the occasion to discipline.  Parents may feel tired, or busy, or frantic, or rushed, or late to a meeting, but discipline when done faithfully will honor God, teach the child, and result in joy in the parent’s heart.

This means that parents must SHOW THE CHILD THEIR SIN AGAINST GOD BY POINTING THEM TO THE SCRIPTURES.  When the child has sinned and you’re in the discipline “room” (in a private location/room, not in a public, visible area), parents should be able to open their Bibles and read the Bible with the children, and even showing the child what chapter and verse they are reading (even if the child is too young to read himself) so that the child will understand (over the course of time) that the discipline must be received because of disobedience to the pure and perfect Word of God. Parents must study their Bibles and know where to go, where to turn, and show the child where the sin is in the Bible and what God says about it and the danger of committing such transgressions.

This means that parents must USE THE OCCASION AS A GOSPEL-PROCLAIMING MOMENT TO EXPOSE SIN AND THE GRACE OF CHRIST.  When parents choose to obey God in this way when the child has sinned, it throws open the door for a gospel conversation (or presentation). If the child is very young, it provides a sweet opportunity for parents to expose the sin, show the error in the text of the Bible, and proclaim the demand to turn from sin and trust in Christ and receive His grace.  For those who are older and who can reason and respond to the parent, the parents should all the more take the occasion to proclaim the gospel and warn the child of the danger of his ways and of the plenteous mercy available in Christ and in His cross-work and resurrection! When the children sin, God provides wonderful occasions for parents to be the resident evangelists in the home to lovingly compel and urge the children to see their sin, the danger that will result if they live in unbelief and rebellion, and to rest fully and confidently in Jesus Christ who is mighty to save.

 

Tomorrow's topic: The WHY of spanking

Read More

SPANKING, part 2: The IMPORTANCE of Spanking

 SPANKING, part 2

THE IMPORTANCE OF SPANKING 

Geoffrey R. Kirkland

Christ Fellowship Bible Church 

2.  THE IMPORTANCE OF SPANKING


One clearly understands even in a cursory survey of Proverbs that utilizing the rod to reprove and discipline children is necessary. No one can deny that spanking is biblical. It is the ordained method that God has given for the discipline and instruction of wayward children.  Proverbs 22:15 says that the rod of discipline removes folly from the child’s heart.  Parents must strike their children with the rod and must understand that it will not kill the child, but it will help them (Proverbs 23:13). Implementing the rod when children disobey is a “rescue” mission to save their souls from death (Proverbs 23:14). Both the rod and reproof give wisdom to sinning children (Proverbs 29:15). One who does not use the rod but insists that the child will “figure it out” or the parent who allows the child to get his or her own way is a shameful way of parenting (Proverbs 29:15b). Thus, the Book of Proverbs clearly shows that parents must incorporate the rod in the disciplining of wayward children.

Furthermore, parents must spank because it instructs the child. There is a two-fold method of instruction when parents spank the children. First, there is the instruction from physical pain when the rod is used.  It teaches and associates sin with painful consequences.  Second, there is the instruction from verbal reproof. Just as Proverbs 29:15 combine them together: the rod and reproof give wisdom. Why would God call parents to employ the rod? For a few reasons.  Children are depraved, wicked, self-loving rebels. And, remember, they receive their fallen human nature from you as the parent. All humans have rebelled against God and must be regenerated to enter heaven. Discipline is a God-given, and God-graced form of discipline to teach the children. It must be used because it inflicts pain when the sin has happened. It is directive because it closely identifies the wayward transgression with the immediate affliction and pain that it produced. It is loving because utilizing the rod is always, always an act of grace because the sinner should get justice — eternal hell. But when parents obediently incorporate the rod when a child has sinned, they shows grace and can point to God's grace. Utilizing the rod is also purposeful so that the parents can firmly expose the sin, open the Scriptures and show the child where they have sinned against God, explain their fallen condition and how their sin deserves hell eternally, affirm genuine love for the child and express their need to repent and trust Christ and receive His saving and plenteous grace!
 

Tomorrow's topic: The WHEN of spanking

Read More

SPANKING, part 1

SPANKING
Geoffrey R. Kirkland

CHRIST FELLOWSHIP BIBLE CHURCH

INTRODUCTION

Prov. 22:15 Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child;  The rod of discipline will remove it far from him.

Prov. 23:13-14  Do not hold back discipline from the child,  Although you strike him with the rod, he will not die.  You shall strike him with the rod And rescue his soul from Sheol.

Prov. 13:24 He who withholds his rod hates his son,  But he who loves him disciplines him diligently.

God commands parents to obey Him in the training and disciplining of young children. The Scriptures provide the reliable and understandable guide for parents to deal with the sin of little boys and girls. Contrary to the thinking of secularists today, and even many in the church, spanking does not hurt, harm, or abuse a child, when the parents execute it biblically, humbly, consistently, and lovingly.

Spanking does not harm or destroy children. It does not set them up for a life of abuse or self-harm. Rather, God declares in His Word that spanking with “the rod” is necessary for all young children who sin and expose the folly that exists in their hearts.

Why must parents spank their children?

First, spanking obeys God.   God clearly spells out how parents must deal with the sin of their children. When children expose the foolishness that resides in their hearts (their rebellion against God and their love for themselves and their self-perceived autonomy), God commands parents to utilize the rod in the childrearing. Quite simply, spanking children begins with the act of obedience on the part of the parents to God. Will the parent honor and fear and choose to obey God in the discipline of their children even when it seems undesirable, unpleasant, and even when the child seems to respond negatively to the spanking?  Parents must fear the Lord and obey Him even in this area of the raising of children.

Second, spanking teaches children.   Spanking associates sin with pain. And it should be this way. If a person sins, there is a consequence. Eternally and ultimately, if a person continues in the state of unbelief and rebellion, he will experience eternal and ultimate pain from God Himself in the eternal torment of hell. Spanking is a ‘school of instruction’ to reinforce the reality that sin always hurts, it always harms, it always has adverse affects. Spanking proves to allow parents (led by fathers) to instruct the children regularly by exposing the folly of their hearts, the horrors of sin, the loveliness of Christ, the need and availability of grace, and the call to trust Christ!

Third, spanking warns children.  Spanking is a rescue mission.  Proverbs 23:14 says that spanking is a rescue mission to deliver a child’s soul from Sheol. What greater reason could God give for the need and importance of implementing the rod?  Believing parents who obey God spank their children to warn them of the disastrous effects of sin, a tragic life that goes on indulging sin, and the eternal consequences of those who die in the condition of unbelief. Spanking brings pain when the act is executed but it pales in comparison with the pains of hell. Spanking gives the parent a wide-open door to evangelize the child, even from the youngest of ages, and lovingly warn the child of the wages of sin and the need to humbly receive God’s grace in Christ.

Fourth, spanking preaches grace.   Spanking does proclaim the wonder of grace. The soul that sins will die. And yet when a child sins and does not die, he has received grace (immeasurable grace!). The parent spanks the child and gathers that child in his arms and prays with him and faithfully and passionately declares the sweet love and mercy of God that is available in Christ who came as the substitute to take the eternal “discipline” from the Father because of the sins of His people. Think of the wonder of grace! Think of the gospel opportunity this provides.

Forthcoming Posts:
We will turn to some specific areas of spanking to provide much-needed clarity.  We will observe
The IMPORTANCE of spanking
The WHEN of spanking
The WHY of spanking
The WHAT of spanking
The HOW of spanking
The PARENT in spanking

RESOURCES / PODCASTS  |  HERE

Read More

PARENTING & DISCIPLINE: one of your child slanders another sibling.

PARENTING AND DISCIPLINE HELP: your kid slanders someone else.

Geoffrey R. Kirkland

 

 

The Scenario. 

You have a child who has slandered one of his siblings to a friend. Consequently, the friends no longer want to hang out with this individual (for a particular activity on a particular day) because one of your children slandered one of his siblings.  You get words of it from another one of your children.  What do you do?  How do you respond?  

 

The Counsel to the Parent 

Maybe this has never happened to you, but it did happen in our family. This makes for a golden biblical counseling opportunity that opens the door fully for gospel proclamation.  Of course, the easy (and lazy!) path to take would be to sharply chastise the kid and say: “Don’t do that again!” Or worse, you could choose to do nothing about it (until, of course, he does it again). 

What do you do? 

When I got word that one of my children slandered a sibling to another friend and thus that friend no longer wanted to spend time playing with the particular individual any longer, I had a choice to make.  How would I handle this? 

I took the children who were involved in this situation and brought them downstairs and we sat on the couch together.  I had my Bible and I was ready to diagnose the heart, probe deeply, and minister gospel truth so they can put off sin and put on righteousness (ha!). If it only went always according to our plans. 

I asked the children what happened and let them speak of the situation.  After the first child shared, then I asked the other child to share.  After gathering information so as to understand the circumstance, I asked them if I understood the issue correctly. I wanted to ensure I was hearing them correctly. 

Then, I opened my Bible and took them to the importance of our words from Matthew 12 and how our words reveal our heart (Matt 12:34). I then read for them Colossians 3:5 how Paul tells the believers to put sin to death — and one of the sins that must be mortified includes the sin of slander.  I talked about how this is God’s command to believers. 

I showed how the sin of slander comes from a proud heart that is unwilling to have a loving conversation with the individual to their face but rather takes the easy route of speaking “about them” — and doing so behind their back. I said: God hates slander and it is never helpful, nor useful, nor kind. 

Then, we ended with Colossians 4:6 where God tells the believers to let their speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt.  In going to all these Scriptures, I was able to show them their sin and how they fell short of what God requires. They did not obey Him. They sinned against God. I pointed this out. 

After showing them their sin, calling them to repent, and exposing their need for Christ and His forgiveness, I told the child who slandered to write out for me Colossians 4:6 on a piece of paper. However, it had to be word-perfect, clear, legible, and they should memorize it in the process.  

In dealing with the situation in this way, I was able to take a child who sinned by slandering his neighbor and open the Bible and show how God’s Word exposes the evil and proud heart in the sin of slander. Then, after exposing the sin and calling for repentance and showing that the only hope is found in Jesus Christ, they had a discipline. It was a discipline for writing out the verse word for word and then returning that hand-written verse when it’s complete.  Once the child did so, I hugged them and reassured them of my love for them.

Read More