A Duty of Christian Wives: Praying!

A Duty of Christian Wives: Praying!
Geoffrey R. Kirkland
Christ Fellowship Bible Church


Prayer is the mightiest weapon that God has given to us as children of God. Christian wife, whatever marriage situation you find yourself in, remember that God’s glory is on display and He never withholds anything good from those who walk uprightly. So keep walking in holiness. Keep it your ambition to be pleasing to Christ in all respects. And resolve to walk in God’s ways and to obey His Word rather than to succumb to feelings and emotionalism. You may be married to Haman-like man or you may have a Holy Gentleman, Christian wife, resolve to be a woman of prayer. Mighty prayer prevails. Fervent prayer prevails. Honest prayer prevails. Hannah was a woman who knew this by experience. How can you be a Christian wife who glorifies Christ in a maximal way? Remember to give prayer a priority place and maintain it as a daily duty.

1. Pray Early. You may be a working woman with a full-time job. You may be a retired lady with grandchildren that you help provide care for. You may be a young mother raising children in the home. Whatever season of life you’re in, dear Christian wife, prioritize prayer. Rise early to meet with God. We do what we love the most and what brings great pleasure. The glorious God of the galaxies and the Lord of the ages invites you to meet with Him and commit all your ways to Him. Before you start nursing or before you drive to work or before you go to the gym or meet with those ladies, seek to remember this helpful maxim: meet with God first and find joy in Him before you begin your busy routine for the day. In a sense, we can do much after we’ve prayed but we can’t really do much till we’ve prayed. So rise early, while it’s still dark if needed, and seek the Lord of creation by calling upon His name and giving thanks to Him.

2. Pray Persistently. Jesus told a story of a persistent widow who came day after day to an unrighteous judge and pleaded her case. She persisted boldly and would not give up until her cause was heard and her cause was won. She prevailed! She persisted! And if an unrighteous judge who could care less for a helpless widow would finally give in to hear the request of a pitiful woman, how much more would the righteous and compassionate Father hear the pleas of His children and answer their requests! Godly wives, be women of prayer. Pray persistently for your children -- by name. Pray for their salvation, for their usefulness, for their holiness, for their perseverance, for their purity. Pray for your church. Pray for your neighbors. Pray for your nation. Pray for your leaders.

3. Pray Earnestly. Like Hannah, be women who pour out your souls to God in prayer. Pray as if everything in your day depended upon God hearing you and answering your specific requests. Pray with specificity. Pray with earnestness. Pray with boldness. Pray with urgency. Pray with humility and submission to the Father’s will. But pray in such a way that you believe your prayers accomplish amazing things and that your prayers reach God and affect God and prompt God to do what may be humanly impossible. So pray earnestly and desperately. Maybe you need to pray for the closing of an abortion clinic around the corner. Maybe you need to pray for an unbelieving husband who is godless and blasphemous. Maybe you need to pray for prodigal children who currently live in worldliness and sin. Maybe you need to pray for revival in your church, in your city, in your country! Pray! Pray on! Pray earnestly!

4. Pray Biblically. Mary, the mother of Jesus, had a treasury of Scripture stored up in her heart. When the angel came to her and informed her that she would bear a child who would be the fulfillment of the Scriptures and bring redemption to His people, Mary responded with a bubbling forth of Scriptural praise! She was a woman who knew the Torah, the Prophets, and the Psalms. Undoubtedly she, as a righteous woman, was one who trusted God’s Word, studied God’s Word, memorized God’s Word, and sought to pray God’s Word. May you be encouraged to do likewise.

5. Pray Specifically. Perhaps you’ve heard the story of Charles Spurgeon and how, as a young teenager, he remembered walking in his home and standing outside his mother’s bedroom door as she specifically, boldly, loudly, faithfully, and with tears, begged for God to save little Charles. Of course Spurgeon gave all glory to God in the work of Sovereign grace in his regeneration, he attributed his salvation to the prayers of his mother. She specifically prayed for him and for his salvation. And God heard her specific petitions. And he answered specifically. Do you pray specifically? What are you worried about? What are you fearful of? What gives you unrest in your heart and soul? Why are you nervous? What do you want or need to be in control of? What is it that tempts you? What is it that you want to be happy? Pray specifically to the Lord for His help, His grace, His protection, His power. And he will answer.

6. Pray Largely. God tells us to open our mouths wide and he will fill it (Ps 81.10). He tells us that he is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or even think (Eph 3.20-21). So pray big prayers. Consider: if God were to answer “YES” to your every prayer and actually give you every thing you prayed for, what would be different?  Would the president be converted?  Would all your neighbors be saved?  Would your church be revived with swarms of new converts?  Would your children all be regenerated and passionately following Christ and mightily used by Him for the advancement of His gospel? Would your church send out many new missionaries from within members of your flock? Pray big prayers! Pray largely! Pray in faith! Pray in confidence! See how God will answer your requests!

7. Pray Expectantly. When Jesus descended from the Mount of Transfiguration, the disciples attempted to cast a demon out of a young boy but they could not do it. And when the lamenting and desperate father approached Jesus, Jesus bewailed the pride of these men and told them that this can only be done in prayer (and fasting). Consider how important it is to pray and actually believe that God will hear and answer. Sometimes we pray but we aren’t alert in our praying and vigilant in expecting an answer! Paul told the Ephesians to be on the alert with all perseverance and petition for all the saints and to look for an answer. Be like Jacob who wrestled with the angel all night and expected that he would be heard and that his cause would be won. Submit to God’s sovereign decrees and at the same time, pray in humble, desperate faith knowing and expecting and anticipating that God will answer your prayers!

8. Pray Worshipfully. Like David who exemplified a man of worshipful prayer, pray as a worshiper! Be glad as a worshiper! Be mindful of God’s character and glory as you pray! Be humbled by His sovereign transcendence and His ever-present nearness as you pray! Be a worshiper and let your heart be full of awe and adoration as you exult in His great Name and gospel. Fill your heart with Scripture and respond with jubilant and prayerful praise. Christian wife, you have innumerable reasons to worship God in prayer! Consider the gospel by which you are saved! Think of the character of your triune God! Marvel at the intricate and incalculable creation God made and sustains! Glory in the church of Jesus Christ and all the myriads of saints of the ages that are saved by the blood of the Lamb! Worship! Pray! Rejoice! And give thanks!

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A Duty of Christian Wives: Discipling Others

A Duty of Christian Wives: Discipling Others.
Geoffrey R. Kirkland
Christ Fellowship Bible Church


As a Christian wife, God blesses you with the privilege of investing in other souls as others have invested in you.  As you receive God’s Word in your daily study of Scripture, as you hear God’s Word preached from the pulpit week after week, and as you hear God’s Word read in the context of your home in family devotions or in bible reading with your husband, now God graces you with the joy of pouring what you’ve received into others.

So, be discipled and mentored. Be instructed and taught. Be submissive to your husband and allow him to read with you, read to you, teach you, and engage in dialogue about God and His Word together. But do not forget that you also have the wonderful, God-given opportunity to disciple others as well.

How can you disciple others? Here are five pastoral suggestions for Christian wives to consider.

1) Disciple in the home. A disciple means that one is a follower of Christ. To disciple in the home means that you follow Christ and plead with others to follow Christ together with you. You as a Christian wife may have children and you can disciple them in the context of your own home. You don’t need a big, flourishing ministry at church to “do discipleship.” Start where you are right in your home with those that God has entrusted under your care. Disciple your children toward Christ and show them, teach them, instruct them, and admonish them in the joy of following Christ!

2) Disciple on the go. You may need to go to the grocery store and perhaps you could take someone with you. You may be taking a meal to a family in your church that just had a baby so you may choose to take someone along with you. Disciple as you go may include bringing another Christian woman along with you as you go through the normal day to day activities. Perhaps you as a Christian wife are going to another younger mom’s home for an hour to encourage her while her children nap. Consider taking another woman from the church to join you for this fellowship, encouragement, and prayer. And ask good questions as you travel and talk together. Speak of Christ and of His gospel. Marvel at His grace and of His works! Discipleship doesn’t have to be a bunch of additional hour-long appointments. If you think and plan wisely, it could be done as you do the normal routine in your life as you bring another lady along with you in those duties.

3) Disciple when you gather (with believers at Sunday). Think of gathering with the family of God as opportunities for you to serve others. After all, we are to build up one another and we are to edify one another constantly. You may be primarily tied to the home as a Christian wife if you have smaller children. There’s nothing wrong with that. But refuse to fall into the thinking that you’re just not able to serve in the church because you’re too busy at home. Consider making Sunday a place where you intentionally and thoughtfully approach one person and initiate a Christ-centered conversation with them before or after worship. It may not be a planned gathering at Starbucks, but make no mistake, a Christ-centered conversation that advances holiness and stimulates thinking on Christ and on Scripture is discipleship! What if God graciously raised up 10 Christian women to reach out to 10 women at Church for this kind of verbal encouragement and discipleship ministry! May God use you to encourage others in your local church.

4) Disciple a woman in your church. Maybe you are a godly wife are in a season of life where you’re retired. Or perhaps the children have all moved out. It may be that your children are old enough and they’re all in school. Or, perhaps you’re married with no children yet. You can be a godly woman who disciples others by initiating a discipleship relationship with another woman (or two!) from your local church. Find a time and place that works. Pick a book of the Bible to read through together (e.g., Titus, Philippians, James, Romans). Talk through it little by little and apply it specifically. Pray for one another. You may even have small children and unable to get out of the home much of the week. But perhaps you could do it early on a Saturday morning while your husband is with the children and you gather with some ladies early for study of the Word and fellowship. The point of all this? To grow together with others and follow Christ together as the family of believers.

5) Disciple with much creativity.  Let us not try to fit every form of discipleship into a cookie-cutter form that can’t be creative or adapted to your schedule. For instance, don’t underestimate the importance and encouragement of letter writing. Perhaps you are gifted in this and you love making, designing, and writing cards. So do this. And encourage women in the church regularly through this form of stimulating them toward Christlikeness. Or you may have time to make phone calls to ladies and share a Scripture with them from time to time and to pray together.  May the Lord help you to be thoughtful, creative, intentional, and proactive in your pursuits of discipling others as a woman of God and as a follower of Jesus Christ.

This is part of the forthcoming eBook on The Duties of Christian Wives.

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Some Benefits to Having a Paper Bible Open and On Your Lap

Some Benefits to Having a Paper Bible on Your Lap
Geoffrey R. Kirkland
Christ Fellowship Bible Church

I have the mobile and electronic devices. I have a computer. I have an iPhone. And I use them daily. They benefit me tremendously in my work, in my writing, in my communication, and in my research. So I have no problem with the electronic devices and tablets and gadgets per se. But I'd like to share a few pastoral thoughts about why it may be beneficial and prudent to go to church with a paper bible in hand rather than a tablet, or an iPad, or an iPhone. In fact, I would suggest that it would be worth your serious consideration whether you should leave your cell phone (or tablet, etc) in the car while you’re in church. I suggest that this is especially true for parents with young and teenage children.

In what follows, I’ll provide what I believe to be some benefits of having a paper Bible with you and open before you when you gather with God’s people to worship.

1. it aids you in focusing in Scripture alone rather than the temptations a device may bring. This may seem overly obvious but the cell phone is like bringing a truckload of temptations to your front porch. I’m not referring necessarily to sinful or immoral temptations. I’m just suggesting that we prioritize the Bible alone when we sit under the Word of God and there may be far fewer temptations when you have your paper Bible open on your lap and a pen and paper to take notes than there are if you’ve got your iPhone open with apps, calendars, scores, programs, games, and even ringers!

2. it prevents the endless distractions that could come with an electronic device (text/popup/reminder/internet).  Having your cell phone with your Bible on it may bring an unnecessary distraction or temptation to respond to this text or that alert or this email or that breaking news report, but why even put yourself in that situation to be distracted? True, someone may say that there are many other temptations (people sitting near you, the instruments, the preacher’s attire, etc.). But we live in a digital, cell-phone worshipping age, and doesn’t it seem prudent to do all that you can to intentionally focus on God’s Word in God’s House rather than bring a gadget that may distract you from hearing what God has for you through the Word of God?

3. it sets an example for the children/teens to have an open Bible.  This is the passion that gave rise to this article. Dear parents, how do you teach your children? Do you want to model for them to get a little Bible on their phone here or there? Do we really believe that when our children are on their phones that they’re doing nothing but studiously poring over the Scriptures? Perhaps -- and we pray this would be the case. But oftentimes, it isn’t. What if you have your children (children and teens and young adults) bring their paper bible with them to church and leave their cell phone in the car. And parents, you do the same! Set the example. Show them it’s good and proper and beneficial to have a Bible and to use it well, know it well, love it, know it, memorize it, and walk with it.

4. it serves in cross-reference study to have fingers in 2 or more scriptures to compare. It’s far easier to track with the preaching of the Word if the preacher goes from Scripture to Scripture and text to text and Testament to Testament when you have a paper Bible.  It can just be quicker and more profitable to have your paper Bible open and turning with the teacher to the texts that he’s reading. You could even leave a piece of paper there in a text for further study at a later point.

5. it helps you learn the order of the books of the Bible better. This is mentioned because of the overwhelming illiteracy of the Bible in our day. It is good to know the books of the Bible and the order of the books of the Bible! One knows the order of the books of the Bible better when he has a paper Bible and is flipping from book to book rather than just going to a Table of Content screen and tapping the Book. Take 25 seconds and see if you can turn to Malachi, then Matthew, then Ruth, then Romans, then 1 Chronicles, then 1 Corinthians, then Hosea, then Hebrews, then Song of Solomon, then Philemon. See if someone can do it quicker in a paper Bible or on a tablet. I suggest it would be the person with the paper Bible.

6. it familiarizes you with the text & with locating Scriptures for future reference. As you track with the preacher by looking at the texts, words, phrases, paragraphs in your text you become familiar with texts themselves and where the texts are in your particular copy of God’s Word so that in future times of need, you can go back and reference a verse or section. Even though you may not remember the specific reference you may remember, for example, that it was on the top side of the left column on the left page of your Bible. This can only be done with a paper copy of God’s Word.

7. it may allow you to mark in your Bible a note or two or a cross reference. I suppose there may be some apps or programs that allow you to take notes on the digital devices, but it’s not the same as underlining a key word, or drawing a circle and connecting it to key word a few verses earlier, or jotting down an outline in a particular portion of Scripture in your own personal Bible for study. This is more readily available in having your paper Bible open and before you.

8. it contributes to the benefit of reading books (chapters) and not just reading clips/quotes (from a device).  When we read on our phones or tablets we train ourselves to read little portions at a time (or, what can fit on a screen in front of us) and then as we keep scanning or flipping or scrolling to read more and more text, it can become burdensome and tedious. But having an open Bible on your lap more easily lends itself to lengthy Bible reading and focused times of saturating in Scripture.

9. it presents a kind of priority & seriousness as you carry and open and study your Bible. We don’t parade ourselves around carrying Bibles just to be seen and noticed by others. That would be arrogant and prideful. Nevertheless, there is something important about walking to church with a Bible in hand. You have your Bible and you understand that you’re in God’s House to study God’s Word with God’s people. As you carry your Bible and study your Bible, there’s a priority and a seriousness as you have it with you and set it before you and reference it with your eyes continually during the sermon.

10. it will not die if you use it constantly for 10+ hours. There's no battery life to the written text of the Bible! Quite simply, electronic devices have battery life that sometimes can fade out and die. But, of course, with your paper Bible, it never gets low in battery life!


SUMMARIZING & SIMPLIFYING the 9 benefits...
   Quite simply, what are the benefits of having an open, paper Bible before you at church?

1. PROTECTION (from distractions as it protects you from unnecessary popups, texts, alerts, emails, scores, etc.)
2. FOCUS  (helps you in focusing on Scripture alone as you zoom in on the book resting on your lap as the priority)
3. EXAMPLE (this especially is true for parents to model the setting aside of devices and guard from distractions)
4. STUDY (aids in cross-reference/turning to multiple scriptures as you flip from Scripture to Scripture in a sermon)
5. ORDER (with a paper Bible, you learn the order of books of the Bible far better than on a device)
6. FAMILIARIZATION (with texts/where they're located on the page for review at a later point)
7. NOTE-TAKING  (jotting down notes in your paper Bible can be easier and more memorable than on a device)
8. SERIOUSNESS (take your bible to church to hear God talk; there's a reason God gave us a *book* & we use it)
9. SUSTAINABILITY (the bible just doesn't lose battery-life, doesn't die; it always has full charge!)

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A Duty of Christian Wives — Teaching Children (and, Grandchildren)

A Duty of Christian Wives: Teaching Children [& Grandchildren]
Geoffrey R. Kirkland
Christ Fellowship Bible Church


[This is part of a forthcoming eBook on "The duties of Christian wives."]

Timothy’s mother and grandmother had sincere faith and undoubtedly instructed him in godliness from a very early age. In fact, 2 Timothy 3:15 says that from his nursing days he knew the sacred writings which were able to give him the wisdom that led to salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus. That is to say, Timothy’s mother and grandmother taught him biblical truth even from the nursing years. Remember King Lemuel who was taught by his mother (Prov 31:1). Let godly wives never underestimate the power of teaching God’s Word to their children. And let grandparents never underestimate the power of the Scripture when pressing it home upon the hearts of the grandchildren.  The Bible clearly presents a pattern of godly parents teaching biblical truth and instructing truth to children. Indeed, Psalm 78 says that this must be done so that the children we have can tell to the next generation to put their confidence in God (Ps 78:6-7). Let all parents and grandparents carefully heed these examples and seek, by God’s grace, to do likewise.

1) Teach Scripture Daily. Moses commanded the people of Israel to teach God’s words diligently to their children -- even when lying down and rising up, when at home and when traveling (Deut 6:6-9). May godly mothers carefully receive and diligently apply the truths set forth in the Old Testament and the command in Eph 6:4 to bring up their children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Godly wives, make it your priority if God has graced you with children in the home to teach biblical truths to them every single day. Like a little water that is added over the course of time, a small tree will grow into a mighty and unshakeable oak tree. So it is with God’s Word. May you instruct your children’s hearts with God’s truth so that the doctrines of the Bible will sink deep into their minds and guide them all through life. From the youngest of ages, teach your children Scripture -- teach them about God, man, sin, Christ, the Spirit, the gospel, faith, repentance, the Church, and eternity.

2) Teach Godliness Practically. Godly wives, live out Christian piety in the home so that your children can see you. Don’t be a Christian just for the sole purpose of being seen and noticed by your children. But you should live out your Christian live in such a way that the doctrine you verbalize is enfleshed by your conduct. Your instruction should be preached by your lifestyle every day. As a Christian wife, show your children self control, the sufficiency of the Word, the importance and centrality of the local church, the need to pray for the unsaved around you, the joy of walking with Christ, and the priority of prayer. All that you teach with your mouth, preach with your life. Enflesh your instruction.

3) Teach Prayer Continually. Godly wives, you have the greatest weapon in the history of mankind always and ever at your disposal -- prayer. You can storm the mercy seat of the great King of heaven and earth and plead your petitions before Him in the name of Christ! So go often! Go frequently! Go humbly! Go desperately! Go persistently! Have your children obeyed you? Then go together to God’s throne and give thanks! Have they sinned by lying? Then go to God in humble repentance and beg for forgiveness. Have you sinned against them? Then seek their forgiveness and pray together. Is there a magnificent storm outside? Then worship God and extol His mighty power together! Teach prayer often and regularly. Teach different kinds of prayer, mothers.  Teach your children to not only ask things of God but also to adore God for who He is. Teach your children to thank God for what He’s done and to praise Him for all His promises. Teach your children to pray for the lost and to beg God for the advancement of the gospel among the nations! Teach it, model it, and then actually do it. Pray together.

4) Teach Repentance Carefully. Godly wives, the more you grow in Christ the more you’ll see your sin. The heart-desires you have that control you at times, the anger that may come out, the selfishness that may manifest itself in various ways. So repent to God and repent to those whom you have offended. And let your children see this and hear this and join in with you in this. Godly moms, never underestimate the power of modeling repentance and contrition before the Lord. Show them that God is the holy God of the universe but also a merciful God to penitent sinners!

5) Teach Humility Preeminently. Be careful, Christian wives, how you present yourself. Guard your attitude! Guard how you talk about others and how you respond to others. Guard from pride! Set the example in instructing your children that humility is always better than pride. Pride is Satan’s way and humility is God’s way. Seek to teach this verbally and to live it out practically. Humility must be preeminent in your teaching. Show this as you relate to your husband, as you pray for other church members, as you go with your children to serve the needy and care for the helpless in the church. Teach and model humility as it is ultimately found in the Lord Jesus Christ and His gospel!

6) Teach Theology Widely.  While your husband is away at work, make it a point to be the resident-teacher to download God’s truth from His Word into the hearts of your children. This requires, godly wives, that you will first learn and study theology on your own so you can then impart it to your children. Never underestimate the importance of teaching theology and a biblical worldview. Teach theology in such a way that everything -- yes, every single thing -- is viewed through the purview of God’s sufficient Word. Teach them the attributes and person of God. Teach them about the depravity and wretchedness of all mankind. Teach them about God’s sovereign work in sending Christ to make propitiation for the sins of His people. Teach them about the Spirit who regenerates, sanctifies, and seals us for glory. Teach them about the beauty and necessity and involvement in the local church. Teach them about future things such as heaven, hell, the last judgment and the nearness of death.

7) Teach Submission Visually. As your children see you, Christian wives, submitting to your husband, you will actually be teaching your daughters not only how they should submit to their husbands (or showing your sons the kind of wives they want to find and marry) but you also will be modeling how all believers should be submitting to Christ Jesus. After all, the way a wife submits to her husband is to be a picture of how the church submits to Christ. So never underestimate the power of a submissive attitude as you honor your husband, respect him, speak well about him, do what he says, follow his leadership, and worship God in seeking to complete and bless him as your companion. This kind of godly attitude and conduct in your marriage relationship will teach submission visually for your children.

More resources on Godly motherhood can be found here and here.

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Man of God: Consider Growing in These Ways As You lead at Home

Man of God: Consider Growing in These Ways As You Lead at Home
Geoffrey R. Kirkland
Christ Fellowship Bible Church

Godly men love God and pursue His Word with constant vigilance. Not in our own strength, but with God’s daily supply of sufficient grace, and with His constant forgiveness when we fall short and fail, we continually strive to worship Christ, magnify Him, and refocus on the duties He requires of us. And the greatest environment where we can live out godliness, and where we will have the most lasting impact in this life (and for generations to come!) is in the context of the home. Men, we are leaders in our homes. And as we lead, consider growing in these five specific ways.

Man of God: lead by DYING DAILY.  When God gave you the new-birth, the heavenly-birth, indeed, the second birth, you really began to live. But paradoxically, when God gave you life, it required your death! You died to yourself. Moreover, Christ summons all of us to die daily and to take up our cross and to follow Him. Dear brother in Christ: how can you die daily? Specifically, in your context, in your home situation, with your wife, with your children (or grandchildren!), with your neighbors, in your local church sphere, how can you die daily? Is there one thing that you could put off while replacing it with a very specific, tangible, selfless duty that would encourage and bless your wife (or children)? Doing the dishes? Taking out the trash? Writing a note to your wife and children? Making coffee for your wife? Coming home from work, shelving the iPhone, and giving full attention to the kids (or, your wife) and lavishing them with affectionate love? Dear men: we are called to love by dying to self. Let’s grow & excel in this!

Man of God: lead by ENLARGED PRAYING. God called the people of Israel to open their mouths wide and then God promised: “I will fill it” (Ps 81:10). Do you pray small prayers or big prayers? What if God were to say “yes” to all of your requests? Consider how much would really change? Honestly. What about your neighbors? Family members? The most hostile, postmodern, anti-God co-worker that you may have? What about the millions of souls that need conversion in our land? What about the shutting down of all Planned Parenthoods? What about God converting your children at a young age?What about God giving you wisdom to generously support a missionary? Man of God, I trust that you pray, but how can you enlarge your prayers so that we can ask big things of a big God. Remember: God does far more abundantly beyond all that we could ask or even think (Eph 3.20). Let’s enlarge our prayers and see God mightily work!

Man of God: lead by ROMANTIC DATING.  You may be married -- and you may be happily married. But dear man of God, the duty belongs to you to cultivate and maintain the embers of romance in your marriage. Romantically date your wife. You have married up! God gave you a gift in a wife. God declares: he who finds a wife finds a good thing (Prov 18:22). When was the last time you got her flowers? When was the last time you took her to her favorite restaurant? When was the last time you asked her specific, open-ended questions probing deep into the recesses of her heart (what excites her? What scares her? What blesses her? What is is most enthralled with regarding God’s attributes? etc.). When was the last time you lit candles and played her favorite music for an evening of romance, affection, and selfless giving of oneself to another? Dear man of God: it’s not your wife’s duty to romance you, you are the leader and the God-given privilege is yours to romance your wife. So date her and romantically date her with heartfelt passion and genuine affection!

Man of God: lead by FAMILY WORSHIP. In our society of bustling busyness, man of God, I ask whether or not you lead in regular, consistent, God-centered family worship? Do you lead and pastor your family well? It doesn’t matter if you have theological training or if you don’t have all the answers or even if you are a “really busy man.” The priority is and always will be the souls that God has entrusted to our care for the specific time we have them (our wives and our children). You are the resident “in-house-pastor.” Do you gather your (whole) family and praise Christ in song? Do you gather the family and read the Word together and discuss it? Do you gather the family and pray together with intentional gatherings of Christ-exalting worship? God deserves to be worshiped, in our homes, by our families, on a daily basis! Men, let’s lead by fulfilling what just might be the greatest and most important duty God has given to us in this life. Don’t just do it for me, for you, for your wife, for your kids, but for “generations to come” praying that your kids would do it with their kids and so on. May you leave a legacy of a family who gathers together to worship Jesus together on a daily basis.

Man of God: lead by ENHANCING JOYFULNESS. Your home may be a place of warm and inviting joy. But how can you enhance joyfulness? How can you grow in your understanding of what true joy really is? Joy is not synonymous with giddiness or feeling positive. Joy, biblically defined, intimates a deep-rooted and unshakable confidence that God is perfectly in control -- in all things. Thus, we can really be joyful at all times and in all circumstances. So how can you cultivate this in your home? How can you remind your kids of this when a kid picks on your child on the schoolyard? When another team slaughters your daughter’s volleyball team in a tournament? When your child studied hard but didn’t do well on that particular exam? How can we cultivate and enhance and remind our families of biblical joy rooted in God through all things that happen. When you drive and behold a full moon in the clouds, how can you remind them of God’s greatness and rejoice? When you drive to church to worship the Risen King with the saints, how can you remind your family to rejoice? Dear man, I trust you already are joyful. But how can you grow and enhance joyfulness in your home environment? May the Lord help us to be joyful men.

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God's Call for Christian Wives — Submission.

A Duty of Christian Wives: Submission.
Geoffrey R. Kirkland
Christ Fellowship Bible Church



I suppose there may be no more controversial word in modern times than “submission.” But thankfully we walk by faith, not by sight. Our marching orders come from the clear revelation of God in the Bible and not by men’s opinions that can be located online. If one were to simply scan society today, one would need not look very long before understanding that the wife’s duty to submit in the marriage relationship for God’s glory and for her joy seems to be forgotten. Actually, it’s willfully rejected and arrogantly trashed as nonsense and some even go so far as to suggest that submission is harmful for females. But nothing could be further from the truth.

Submission actually is a wonderful concept that all people are called to. All Christians are commanded to submit to God (James 4:7). All Christians are called to submit to their church leaders and to obey them (Heb 13:17). Christians are all called to submit to authorities in government (Rom 13; 1 Pet 2:13). So submission is not a bad thing in and of itself. It’s not evil. It’s not harmful. It’s not bad. It’s not given by God to make life miserable. Rather, just as there are different role and distinctions that we all understand, submission is a given. For instance, in the workplace, the boss leads and the employees are to follow the instructions of the leadership. Even in the Trinity there is various distinctions in role and function: “Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ” (1 Cor 11:3). The idea of “head” or “headship” signifies authority. It’s not a bad thing. There is authority in the workplace. There is authority in government. There is authority in the local church. So there is authority in the home. This does not mean the wife is less important or to be looked down upon! While remaining equal in person, worth, and dignity, there are still differences in role and function and responsibility that exist. And that’s where submission comes in when dealing with the marriage. In the Bible, God calls the wife to submit to her husband.

God says: "wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord" (Eph 5:22). Elsewhere, God says: "wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord" (Col 3:18). Submission is commanded by God of all Christian wives to their husbands. So how is a Christian wife to submit?

Submit WORSHIPFULLY. The glorious way that God describes a woman’s role to submit is so profound. It’s far deeper than sheer obedience. Submission is not synonymous with obedience or just “getting the job done.” Anyone could force someone to obey, I suppose. But submission, at its very fundamental level, is a heart disposition. One could obey and hate it. But one could never biblically submit while the heart is fuming or bitter inside. That’s called hypocrisy and that’s not what God calls us to. So, Christian women are to submit -- and they are to do it “as to the Lord” (Eph 5:22). Amazingly, this catapults the realm of submission into the realm of worship. The way that a wife submits to her husband is to be the way that she submits to the Lord. She should do so willingly, heartfully, joyfully, happily, patiently, prayerfully, and hopefully. She should submit with a glad heart, a thankful heart, and a trusting heart. Only women who have been saved by God’s grace can do this, however. It’s wrong to assume that God’s standards for a Christian marriage can be expected in a marriage between unbelievers. But when God has transformed the soul, and regenerated the heart, and given His Spirit to reside within the believer, now that woman can -- is able to! -- submit to her husband in a worshipful disposition as if she would be submitting to her Savior and Lord!

Submit UNCONDITIONALLY. “I’ll submit if you only…” No! The Bible knows no conditions! The only exception that the Bible provides for not submitting to government, church leaders, or a husband is if you are demanded to specifically sin against Scripture. In such a case (and only in such a case), the godly wife must choose to obey God rather than men. But preferences, or opinions, or feelings, or emotions don’t constitute as biblical reasons to not submit to one’s husband. Wives, God calls you to submit to your husbands. This is fitting in the Lord. It is well pleasing to Him. There are no exception clauses. First Peter chapter 3 even has biblical counsel for godly wives who are married to unbelieving husbands -- even, very harsh, very unreasonable, very ungodly, very foolish husbands -- and the counsel God gives is for wives to “be submissive” to your own husbands (1 Pet 3:1). This requires daily taking up one’s cross, following after Christ, and doing what He says -- for His glory, trusting in His plan, and relying on His power.

Submit HEARTFULLY. Make it your ambition to submit to your husband with a happy heart that trusts that God’s ways are best. That way, if you relate to your husband and submit to him with this on your heart and mind, you will submit even in the tough and difficult times. And even in those times when you don’t feel as though he deserves it, remember that you submit to your husband with a heart that trusts in God, in His Word, and in the reality that there is great satisfaction found in obeying God rather than doing what seems easy in the moment. To submit heartfully means that our inner man -- our heart, our mind, our thought patterns, our inner person -- must be daily transformed by Scripture so that the way that we think, the way that we respond, the way that we communicate, and the way that we conduct ourselves is guided by, governed by, and guarded by God’s Word. The more that you immerse yourself in Scripture, the more you will do what God calls you to do in the specific role in which He has put upon you -- and you’ll do it with all your heart. Remember the Apostle Paul said that whatever you do in word or deed, do ALL in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father (Col 3:17). And a bit later, Paul also said: “Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men” (Col 3:23). True submission is a heart disposition that follows God’s design for you in the marriage context as you ultimately serve your heavenly Lord and Master! This is the path of true and lasting and fulfilling joy.

Submit JOYFULLY. Submit joyfully. It’s easy, a wife may say, to submit to a Godly husband. But remember, there are no perfect husbands in this world and the joy comes not in what seems easiest or what appears to be the most fun or what brings the most immediate gratification, but joy comes in a settled, unshakeable disposition and conviction that God is for my good and that God remains in control in and through all things -- for His glory. That is why you can have joy even when you submit to an imperfect man. God is in control and is sovereignly and providentially working all His preordained plan out according to His purposes in you, through you, and in your marriage! Rejoice in this! After all, God calls us to rejoice always! Don’t be worried and don’t be fearful! Trust in God and believe in Him! Don’t be anxious but be prayerful. Cast yourself entirely and daily upon Him. Joyfully rest in His character as you seek to obey His commands. He will honor that and reward you on that final day! Submit with a satisfied joy!

Biblical submission is a God-graced duty for all Christian women to place themselves under the authority of their husbands. It is a willful, a deliberate, a daily, a trusting, and a joyful following of God’s ways regardless of how one may feel in the moment because we as Christians must live by what we know to be true and never by what we’re feeling in the moment. Emotions are never solid grounds to determine how or what we are to think or do. May God equip and help Christian wives to submit to their husbands with happy hearts and with a worshipful attitude -- for His glory!


This is part of the forthcoming eBook on the Duties of Christian wives.

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